The maid waltzed in with a piece of paper. She found it somewhere on the floor post Mother's Day. Tejas had never given his card to me. He said he would do it in the evening when the girls had their handsful of stuff to give. They all encouraged Tejas to give it to me in the morning. He was in another land.

Anyway this is what the maid gave me. I am just on cloud nine, after reading his letter. I quizzed every passer by, well all my children, if my son wrote this in camp. They said no no no, not at camp. Well, i am struck by thunder. Hari Om, the ways of the Lord, Tharini for sure will love this.

What more motivation and inspiration do i need to be the mom he wants me to be.

A picture speaks a thousand words

I walk into the kitchen and what do i find ? My anjali petti in a state of careful disarray. All kinnams holding all items and an extra special item a badam biscuit distributed among all 7 kinnams. I knew it must be Aishu.
Usually I would have been very mad and huffed and puffed and belittled the child, the harried person I am with a 100 things to do. but my new post camp persona kicked in and I actually admired her handiwork.

She waltzed in a few days later and asked me 'Mama, did you like it ?'
And i waxed eloquent.

But I was actually shocked. I thought she would know that this would make me mad.
Little did i know that she thought she was actually creating an artwork and not a thought about messing a neatly laid out anjali petti.

So pure is the heart of the child.

Hari Om

Mothers day 2012

will be very special to me. The twins have been planning forever what to give me. They measured my head and made a paper crown and they would hide it when i walk in the room and sneak from room to room holding it in the back.

They drew countless pictures, threw it away and drew another set of countless pictures.

They wanted me to not get out of the bed. i was to sleep with Tejas the whole day and they would make breakfast with Dad. They would make lunch with dad and they would make dinner with dad. they planned out an elaborate menu with dad. Only what i liked was to be made. They made a huge brownie cake the previous day and reserved it for mother's day.

They wanted to give me a single red rose and pestered dad to get it for them to give it to me.

I am crying as i write this. The children took such good care of me that i didn't thank them then as much as I am thinking and thanking them now, for their love.

I was happy they did all this but they needn't have. Moms are so generous that way. They just know to give and are at a loss when it is for theirs to take. My mom is exactly like that. She would get angry if we ask her to take and she would get mad if we want her to stop giving. Guess all of us children have got that from her. We do not expect anything from each other. Infact if they do, we chide them for doing it.

So coming back to my kids, it wasn't a big deal for me. But it was big deal for them. Yes, they showered me with their love and i became pure in all their love.

thank you my children and my dear hubby for making the day so special.

Love
Taa's mom forever. 

Back From Balavihar Camp

and what am i ? A changed person, atleast a changed parent. Lots to work on the marriage front, as to stop nagging, contradicting him when he is speaking to the kids, etc, but atleast at the kids front, i can see a visible change.

I am not looking at them as something that needs to be molded, but a person with feelings of ego and respect. I have become much more calm and friendly towards them. I have let discipline take a back seat for now, nurturing them and letting them play forever instead of harping on practise and routine. Not necessarily a good thing. but what i am intending as my final result is 'DISCIPLINE WITH LOVE'. Just discipline would not cut it and for me, DWL is a hard line to walk. Probably its me who has set up this pattern, that the final scream does it, makes the kids listen, i have to transform it to them listening to me without the scream. My entire point from the moment i became a parent, or actually somewhere along is, i do not want to lose my dignity and reduce my state by screaming. How would i feel if my husband lifted a finger at me, and yet i do not give a moment's notice to myself if i have to scream or that occsional spank.

Can i elicit correct behaviour without these ugly tools ?

It has always been a challenge. And now, what i got to hear from Brni. Nidhiji, which i always wanted to do, validated by Nidhiji, is to be a friend first and then everything else.

What relations do we crave from our spouse, children, relatives, bosses.

To be a friend. Someone who loves you unconditionally without judgement . They already love you and hence you can reveal your weaknesses and despair without any cause of concern for selfimage.

That is the goal we have to seek from ourselves to give to our children.

That was a wonderful camp. Four days of bliss.

I urge all of you to join Balavihar and if you do not have kids, just join Chinmaya Mission. They have enough to cater to just the adult mind.

Please do not miss this opportunity. If you are abroad, it will start in September and hence do all your groundwork and if you are in India, it will start in June. It starts with the school year where ever you are. Even if the place is far, join it, it is worth every effort you take to reach the lotus feet of the Lord.

There is enough for the atheist as well. It is all about surrendering of the ego and God is just the crutch to do that.

Run for it

Hari Om

I just happened to like her that morning, with her hair all tumbling over her, she looked exactly like Ms. Tangled from Tangled, do you know what i mean.
I just couldnt resist clicking a picture. usually she has her front two tooth out or making piggie faces or literally blocking her face with hands, when i am clicking her. i think she thinks she is a celebrity, Afff.. so irritating. i cannot even take pictures nowadays without threatening them. Otherwise its all funny monkey faces. 

Moi : Sir, we are going to the Balavihar camp to Chinmaya Vibhooti the next couple of days and then their old school starts from May 7th. So we will not be able to have these daily classes that we have had these past two weeks.
Sir : Sure, call me back when you come and we can set up an evening time for the classes twice a week or however you want
Aishu ; No, I want to stay in French
Sir ; What do you mean ?
Me : She wants to continue French classes
Aishu was nodding vehemently. This was the girl, after the first day, took one look at the Sir and shallowly said he doesn't look good and all suave, and hence will not be categorically taking classes from him. Give me a lady teacher she had said.
But Mr. B has so skillfully with his infinite wisdom of handling kids, had made French fun while learning it in the process and the kids actually were looking forward to their regular 9.30 AM classes.

So the kids love it and so do i. I find it exotic enough to love it.

Anyway we will be going to the Balavihar camp. Will give you guys an update once done

Take Care
Au Revoir

It is time to ramble again and ramble i must as i want to keep this ball rolling. Okay you get the drift. You've read the ball rolling on day one and then you read about the ball rolling on day 2 and then you really don't want me to write about the ball rolling on day 3 as you can very well see, that the ball is rolling and hence I, in all my right senses should not make a post out of it.

I actually enjoyed writing yesterday's piece, okay i enjoy rambling, but it came with a sense of freedom as i was addressing you guys as well. That i didn't mind rambling for my audience and that fact that I have the temerity to expect an audience and to write for them. And the fact that i write what i want, for my audience as well. That is incredible freedom. Not only am i writing for myself but I am willing to show my rambling to my audience without any awkwardness. Now i call that real freedom, to be real even among the unreal (that is you folks).

I guess my confidence is increasing, not necessarily in my writing, but about myself, that i am ok to write this rambling piece of xx and not have a problem with you guys reading it.

And somehow today i did read my para post before writing this, so the para's are coming to me in the nick of time to leave a para.

I guess that is enough rambling for one day ?

Thank you for reading this post ;)